


Counting Sheep Not Calories

by pretive



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Eating Disorder, Fluff, M/M, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 19:15:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6532999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretive/pseuds/pretive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're making another baking video, but Dan's old eating disorder swoops in, putting him a bit on edge. Phil does his best to reassure Dan through it, but after a particularly nasty comment circulating in the comments, Dan and Phil find themselves on the hallway floor at five in the morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Counting Sheep Not Calories

Dan eyes the recipe, wondering if he could just go print off another one, one that's a bit healthier. He sighs to himself, putting the paper down as Phil walks in. He gives Phil a tired smile, then begins to set out the ingredients. 

It's not long before Phil notices the intense gazes at the ingredients, and Phil grabs his hand to stop the younger. "Dan, are you alright? You don't look it. Come here." Phil opens his arms for a hug, one that Dan can't help but fall into, albeit a bit weary. 

"It's just," Would Phil get upset that Dan was getting these thoughts again? He was supposed to be bett-"I feel like I'm getting bad again and the baking is just so /unhealthy/ and it makes me kind of sick." Well, there's no turning back, and Dan is relieved as Phil hugs Dan a bit tighter. 

It was when Dan was about thirteen that he began to see more fat in the mirror than muscle. By fifteen, Dan was skin and bones, and by seventeen he was a pile of bones held together by paper thin skin. Then, at eighteen, he began to talk to Phil, and he saw more Phil in the computer than himself. Obviously when he met Phil, he couldn't say no to the boy and ate a feast at a local restaurant. That night, Dan got sick, and Phil rubbed his back instead of getting angry. Phil slowly put Dan back together, kissing the non existent stomach until it began to gain some volume, creating a beautiful, wonderful Dan. 

Dan often got spells where he'd feel too chubby after a comment by a fan, or he'd feel sick after a meal and not eat for a day, and Phil did his best to stand by him with a water and vegetables to coax him back to Phil. 

"Dan, you're absolutely amazing for even telling me about this. A lot of people would be scared to admit to it, but you're so strong." Phil lifts Dan onto the counter with ease, sliding in between his legs. Dan's eyes brim with tears. 

"You think so?" He whispers, looking at is hands, then back at Phil.

Phil's smile is warm as he answers. "Of course." He wipes away Dan's tears, coming up with a plan to keep Dan away from as many sickening foods as he could during the video. 

*

Phil is half-awake when he sees the light from Dan's phone go off, the bed move, and the door open. Phil assumed it was just Dan going to the bathroom or the kitchen when he hears quiet sobs. 

Phil rubs his sleepy eyes, opting for glasses instead of comforting a blurry Dan. He slinks out the door slowly, then plonks down on the ground beside Dan. "Hey Baby, what's wrong?" His voice is gravelly, Phil knows, but Dan told him once before that it was one of his favorite things, making it a bit easier to calm the boy. 

"I hate it, Phil, I hate all of it!" He cries, pulling his legs closer to his body. 

Phil furrows his eyebrows. "What bear, what do you hate?" Phil reaches around a shaking Dan, pulling him into his lap.

"Me! So do the fans. They saw all of my /fat/." He spits out the word, and Phil tenses. "God, Phil. Why can't I be good enough?" 

Phil pulls away fast enough to make somebody's head spin, and takes Dan's face into his hands. "You've always been good enough. You're so strong, so beautiful, you're more than enough for me. I love /you/ Dan. Your soul, not your body, which is beautiful to me." Dan's sobbing harder for the man that he'd been blessed to receive, and Phil swipes away a few loose tears from his own face. 

"Please don't leave me Phil." Dan hiccups into Phil's shoulder.

Phil rubs Dan's lower back. "Come back to bed with me, I'll count sheep with you." Dan nods, standing with Phil's guidance. Phil opens the covers slowly, tiredly, and Dan crawls in with his back facing Phil, scooting backwards until he hits Phil's soft embrace. 

Phil's nearly asleep when he hears a quiet voice. "I'd rather be counting sheep than calories with you any day."


End file.
